Au service du Roi...

His Excellency, the 10th Marquis de Sangfroid, Comte de Roue and the Prince Ecclesiastical of the Bishopric of St. Vignobles.

This vignette is based on a written description of a painting by Édouard Detaille,  now believed to have been lost during the Second World War. 

M. le Marquis is portrayed on the morning of his great victory against the Imperial forces at the Battle of Chimay in 1745, where, after a bold river crossing at night with picked troops from L'armee de l'Oise, he turned the enemy's flank and forced them to abandon their attempt to reinforce the Allied army in Flanders.

The scene shows a scout from Sarkozy's Hussars, wearing the non- regulation mirliton that was becoming popular with officers of the regiment at this time, reporting the presence of the Imperial army to M. le Marquis. 

The Marquis is mounted on his famous dapple-grey steed, Seligenstadt, and is accompanied by his faithful personal escort, brigadier Jean-Claude Boulet of the Bauffremont Dragoon Regiment. 

Having saved the Marquis' life during the Battle of Dettingen, and having throughout the course of his service impressed his superiors with his temerity and resourcefulness, Boulet was duly promoted to brigadier and assigned to the Marquis' personal staff.  

He wears the uniform of his unit, but in splendid scarlet rather then cheap red broadcloth; it was awarded to him by a grateful Marquis to replace the uniform he lost while swimming the River Main in order to save his patron.

 

The Marquis himself wears the  dress uniform of the Chef of the Noble Volunteer Company of Vintners; a handsome velvet coat of deep rose, with richly embroidered gold trim.

 

Georges Debroullier had the following to say about the formation of the Noble Volunteer Company of Vintners, a company of guard cavalry serving with the King's Household. 

"This little-known but illustrious unit in the King's personal establishment was inextricably linked with the House of Bouillon-Cantinat.  Early in the reign of the Great Louis, during the troubled times of the Fronde in 1651, the young King was surprised by a patrol of enemy cavalry intent on taking him prisoner. 

Fortunately for His Majesty, Guillaume-Baptiste Bonhomie de Bouillon-Cantinat, the 7th Marquis de Sangfroid, was with the King's party.  He had been been given charge of supervising French wine production and distribution, and was with the King at the time in connection with the discharge of these duties. 

Upon seeing the threat to His Serene Highness' person, the 7th Marquis sprang into action, and immediately called upon his officials and their pages to arm themselves and to mount their horses to deal with the threat.  They then rode out at once to take on the enemy, successfully thwarting their plans to take the King captive.

A grateful monarch then created the Noble Volunteer Vintner Company of the King's Household in honour of their service, and made the  Marquis de Sangfroid hereditary Chef of the company in perpetuity, granting in addition an annual pension of 6000 Louis' d'or."

M. Georges du P. Debroullier;
"What Higher Master than Honour? A History of the House of Bouillon-Cantinat"

Pierre Declat & Cie.
St. Vignobles, 1902

*****

I haven't posted here in a long time, but I hope this one makes up for it in terms of eye candy at least.  

I spent a considerable amount of time on the miniature for the Marquis.  It is a simple casting, the  Marquis de Montcalm figure from Front Rank's French-Indian war range.  No conversions or alteration, but it represents what I feel is the pinnacle of my painting efforts in the 35 years I've been in the hobby, and I'm not embarrassed to say I'm extremely proud of him.  

I'm not happy with the photos; despite tweaking on iPhoto the reds did not come out very well.  The red of the dragoon uniform in particular appears very "washed out", and in reality is a very rich, intense red.  I may try taking pictures in better light tomorrow and see how they turn out.

But in all, not bad for an "overfed gargoyle", as some vocal critics like to dismiss Front Rank's SYW range.

Our club here has been focusing on WW2 miniatures gaming for a while, with Napoleonics in the pipeline for the future.  This means that much of my time available for wargaming has  been spent on these armies.  Unfortunately, there has not yet been much groundswell of interest in the 18th. C as far as I can ascertain.    

But even if other gamers here don't seem to have much interest in the period,  I certainly do.  And receiving this excellent book three weeks ago inspired me to take out my figures and get back to work on them, somewhere in between Soviet artillery pieces and French Napoleonic voltigeurs.

I keep reminding myself that this will be a case of "build it and they will come", so I will continue to plod away at painting up L'armee de l'Oise and its foes.   

If I am to get anywhere with this project I cannot afford to fall into the trap of trying to put as much detail into the rank and file as I have been able to on the noble Marquis, but seeing what Phil Olley has been able to achieve with his splendid collection of Front Rank miniatures as seen in Wargaming in History inspires me to keep going.

The Missing Mouillard

Late 19th C. manuscript displaying a montage of regiments and uniforms including that of the Brigade de Bouillon-Cantinat, along with a miniature of its commander, The Chevalier de St. Estampie-Galliard, when the brigade formed part of the French Army of the L'Oise in 1743.

This immaculately-preserved artifact was brought to our attention by the noted expert on 18th C. French military uniforms, M. Lucien Rossignol.

Discovered amongst the Sangfroid papers in the collection of La Bibliothèque Nationale de la Lorraine, it is remarkable for being the only example extant showing the uniform for the cavalry regiment Bouillon-Cantinat, and is the sole surviving fragment of plates from the 1892 limited edition of the Lucien Mouillard work, all copies of which were believed to have been destroyed in the shelling of L'Abbe de St. Vignobles during the campaign for Verdun in 1916.

It represents a very notable addition to our current knowledge of the French army of the War of the Austrian Succession.

The continuing tale of the Chevalier de St. Estampie-Galliard from the pen of his commanding officer, M. le Marquis de Sangfroid himself;

********

"After a few more fortifying glasses of claret, I felt myself able to explain to my confidant M. de Brouillier the reason that lay behind my apparent change of mood, and told him of what I knew of M. le Chevalier de St. Estampie-Galliard, the relating of which would certainly enlighten him to the source of my present distress.

The family of St. Estampie-Galliard is an ancient one from the lands of Roussilon, and while, of course, not of such august a lineage as that of the Bouillon-Cantinats, their service goes back many generations to the time of the Angevins.

The chevalier's father was of a man of some renown in the late wars in Spain alongside the great Marshal Berwick, in the course of which he met his future wife, the present chevalier's mother. She was a lady of ancient noble Spanish blood, who was renowned in her youth for her passionate nature and great beauty- as well as, it is said, for her somewhat lax moral character; a trait which, it must be noted, has evidently been passed on down to her son.

The chevalier is reputed to be quite handsome, and to his merit he is a fine rider and judge of horseflesh. Of his courage there is no doubt. Alas, the same cannot be said of his providence, perseverance nor especially of his judgement as it pertains to matters of a non-equine nature.

I had the opportunity once to conduct mass wherein the good chevalier was in attendance. The occasion remains in my remembrance on account of noting his frequent lack of concentration, consistent and loud yawning, and his insistence of taking up of conversation with the more attractive ladies of the congregation during my remonstrance against the evils of indolence and gluttony.

His good looks, athletic prowess, and considerable charm have served to further him in his career where otherwise his lack of mental agility and self-discipline would have disbarred him. Of late he had been serving in the Maison du Roi, with the Gendarmes Bourguignons du Roi. But evidently he has been showing fealty more to the Goddess Venus than to warlike Mars, which seems to have been the root cause for his current lack of employment.

It is reported, amongst those who have a taste for such snippets of knowledge and rumours, that the aged but most revered and influential of chancellors, M. le Duc du Cressé-Armagnac, had a very young and beautiful ward who was known to be a favourite of our King Louis.

Mlle. Hortense-Desirée de la Cloche-Rohan enjoyed a reputation throughout the court at Versailles for being a gentlewoman of singular beauty of complexion and fullness of figure, and she was much admired by the men of court, young and old. Thus when the opportunity arose, during the course of a dinner given in honour of the Conte d'Arles, it was upon this young enchantress who had evidently captured his attentions that our chevalier was to ply all the considerable talents for wooing and of charm that he had at his disposal."

"It appears that the chevalier's first real campaign was crowned with success and that the object of his besiegement surrendered the citadel- and all its more intimate chambers- without demur. Unfortunately for M. Le Chevalier, he was discovered engrossed in the act of intense exploration of his newly-conquered possessions by the Duke himself, who had descended into the wine cellar in company along with his companions, M. l'Abbe d'Eu and M. le Marquis de Feltres- who also happened to be the commanding officer of the Gendarmes Bourguignons du Roi-, intending to surprise these respected gentlemen with a cache of fine wines, which he had had the fortune to acquire in the course of a recent journey to Dijon.

That it was indeed a surprise to all involved is not in dispute.

The resulting fracas saw the benevolence and serenity of His Majesty sorely tested to the fullest, and it is rumoured that were it not for the timely intervention of the Queen- who had taken a liking to our now somewhat compromised hero- the worthy chevalier may by now have found himself in the service of the Ministry of Marine in New France. Instead, it was determined that he would be sent far from the centre of court to the armies currently serving on the frontiers either of the Rhine or of Piedmont-Savoy, in order that he may have to chance to redeem himself with his monarch through some act of heroism or other.

So it can be seen that Lady Chance is a fickle mistress, and thus it had fallen to my lot to provide a station in life for this unfortunate wastrel.

As the day went on, the thought of entrusting such a fine brigade of horse to a man of so little proven ability in matters of administration and tactics troubled my staff and I immeasurably. While no doubt ultimately having to accept the appointment, I determined that I would lever certain advantages from the arrangement.

Namely, I wanted a trusted second-in-command for the brigade, so I petitioned the Minister that I have the Regt. de Bouillon-Cantinat take precedence over the other regiments of the brigade, by recognizing it as a legitimate successor to its forbears in 1688.

Thus the brigade would bear it's name, and the major of the Regt. de Bouillon-Cantinat- my trusted and experienced subordinate from St. Vignobles itself, M. le Chevalier Eduard Duchamps de Botte-en-Selle- would through his position as brigade chief-of-staff prevent the Chevalier d'Estampie-Galliard from ruining the brigade through either neglect or excess.

The minister was only too glad to oblige to such terms, being thankful of having such a tedious conundrum removed from his hands. As for the chefs of the regiments of Clermont and of Conti, they showed themselves quite understanding of the situation, and in exchange for a few barrels of the choicest reserve cognacs from the wineries of St. Vignobles as well as the writing off of certain debts they had owing to me in the course of some ill-fated games of chance, they were content to acquiesce to such an extraordinary departure from the rules of precedence for the sake of the betterment and security of the Service."

Vexations from Versailles...

"As the summer turned into autumn in that eventful year of 1743, we laboured ceaselessly on forging l'armee de l'Oise, seeking through our efforts to sharpen it into a finely-honed foil with which to lunge at the King's enemies.

To that end, I was ever involved in seemingly endless cycles of correspondence with Versailles concerning the outfitting, victualling, and financing of the army, and furthermore found myself deep in a constant inundation of letters of introduction and and recommendations. We were subject to a veritable tide of candidates, great and humble, all hoping to be selected for posts of honour and responsibility as general and regimental officers.

I was determined to officer my corps with men that had shown aptitude & talent in the Profession of Mars, and who were well-versed in the social graces and of good family. In short, such gentlemen who would bring us honour and help to eradicate the shame that was Dettingen.

But we live in a world in which power, politics, and influence are unbounded. While I was on many occasion able to secure the services of worthy and dedicated individuals that would do us credit on the field, in other circumstances I was not always as fortunate. Oft was I compelled to walk a fine line and to broker agreements or compromises. And at times, composing myself with the resignation necessary in one who frequents the gaming table, I had just to accept the inevitable hand that fate (in the person of His Majesty) had dealt me.

Such a one was M. Le Chevalier Raymond Boniface de St. Estampie-Galliard.

One morning as I was in the company of my comrade-in-arms, M. de Debrouillier, and with whom I was sharing a half-bottle of claret and quiche as a quick breakfast before making our customary inspections, we were disturbed from our deliberations by the arrival of a post-chaise bearing a hefty packet of correspondence from Versailles.

Steadily going through the voluminous pile of envelopes contained within- being for the most part a collection of requests for receipts, notices of accounts payable, & provisioning letters-of-credit along with other such sundry matters of administration- I was dismayed to discover a missive closed with the heavy and ornate seal which marked the sender as being the esteemed- and most influential- Minister of War, M. Marc-Pierre de Voyer de Paulmy, Comte d'Argenson.

I opened and read the letter with some apprehension. The essential contents of which, thereof, the Good Count- after proffering the best of wishes for my welfare and for my continued robust health- was pleased to inform me that His Majesty had tendered the "suggestion" that I take on the services of the said knight, M. Le Chevalier Raymond Boniface de St. Estampie-Galliard. Who, I was assured, would render me honourable and energetic service if given the opportunity to command a brigade of horse.

Now such a recommendation carried with it the weight of Mighty Jove, and, having already used up considerable credit with the authorities in Versailles in my efforts to obtain the services of my new Quartermaster-General, M. le chevalier Gouvrement de la Taille, I quickly calculated with sinking hope that this would be one appointment for which I would have to graciously submit to the benevolence and will of His Majesty.

Well able to ascertain my sudden and considerable feelings of vexation, M. de Debrouiller at once poured me another glass of claret, and inquired solicitously of the source of my evident and wholly unexpected chagrin."

Cont.

Sarkozy's Pandours- or, some "pocket money" for M. le Marquis...

Another template courtesy of "Not by Appointment" !

"During the lengthy process of retraining and refitting l'armee de l'Oise at Thionville, it was necessary to keep the enemy from looking to our frontier with an eye for mischief all the time that the defences of France were at at such a nadir. It was imperative to prevent the forces of the Pragmatic Alliance from taking advantage of our current deplorable state, and, if possible, to deceive them as to the true extent of our discomfiture.

For this service, we needed men of energy and enterprise, and we had no further to look for such hearty individuals than in our new band of hussars and their chef, Count Horthy Emil Sarkozy.

The Count soon demonstrated the wisdom of our having accepted his services, for no sooner had he joined our camp, than he began a series of raids, moonlight strikes, bluffs and other activities all along the part of the frontier that seperated the two armies.

It was quite remarkable to us officers, our being so used to conditions of service with the French army, with what little fanfare Count Sarkozy and his hussars would make their departure. Leaving in the early hours before sunrise, no sooner would they ride out of the camp than they would seemingly vanish into the very ether; burdened neither by train nor baggage, other than what the men could strap to their horses.

We would hear no news of them for days at a time. And then, with no harbinger or rumour heralding their approach, they would just as suddenly reappear, with no more ceremony as would have been the case had they merely been out on a morning to exercise their mounts.

Upon his return, Count Sarkozy would first attend to watering his horses and to obtaining food for his men. He would then directly make his way to my quarters, still covered in the accumulated grime of his latest adventure, where after brusquely paying his respects to the assembled company, he would then commence to present me with his latest souvenirs; a chest of maps here, some intelligence on enemy forces there, and even from time to time a valuable prisoner. (This included on one occasion none other than Graf Kristoph von Meissenplatz- a celebrated officer late in the service of the Duke of Hesse-Rheingelden- in whose company I then had the pleasure to dine.)

And always, Sarkozy's hussars- both men and horses- would return burdened with chests of coin, jewelry, and sacks of gold and other valuables, so that they were soon as rich as corsairs.

Which was as well, as in time I found myself in a position to bankroll the army and to pay for proper equipment and provisioning. A soldier may fight for honour or his comrades, but an army marches, alas, on money. My headaches at the time from dealing with the parsimonious scrubs in the Ministry of War were at their worst, and financing was always in short supply in those days.

I therefore did not press the Count too closely on how or where these most likely ill-gotten gains originated, but in my capacity as Prince Ecclesiastical of the Bishopric of St. Vignobles, I was always sure to give a brief benediction at Mass for those souls who may have had to endure the suffering that can befall the lot of those who have been privileged to "contribute" to the cause of Good King Louis.

Also long-suffering indeed was the Conte d'Aglianico, a most brave and professional lieutenant of mine, under whose direct command Sarkozy found himself (inasmuch as our wild Hungarian deigned submit to our command; or indeed, to any authority at all).

Many were the times that this gallant officer was called upon to intervene in the constant stream of disputes that arose between Sarkozy's band of uniformed brigands and the local populace. Through the judicious application of honeyed words, favours, bribes -and, when necessary, dark threats- he accomplished minor marvels of diplomacy, shielding me, along with the rest of my overburdened staff, from the endless deputations of affronted local counsellors and other such disaffected citizenry.

Nonetheless, it was acknowledged by all that the value of Sarkozy's actions against the enemy were proving their worth, and he soon developed a fearsome reputation on the far bank of the Rhine. Captured documents revealed that the enemy were having to send additional forces to meet the threat. Indeed, none other than the esteemed M. de Saxe was soon to write to me and to the War Ministry, asking that the raids continue as they were serving to draw reinforcements away from the Flanders theatre that would otherwise be ranged against him in his upcoming campaign there.

The proposal was soon made that Sarkozy's band be increased by the recruiting of two extra squadrons of hussars to that of a full regiment, and that a unit of Pandours be raised. These latter to be recruited from prisoners taken in recent actions in Bavaria- men whose dedication to the Habsburg crown was considered to have taken less of a hold on their hearts than did the prospect of a full purse while serving under the illustrious, and increasingly renowned, Count Sarkozy."

The Sarkozy Hussars

click on image to enlarge.

In the words of M. le Marquis...

"As the French army licked its grievous wounds after the Battle of Dettingen at the newly-constructed camp at Thionville, our time was often taken up with the routine work of training and outfitting the army so that it would once again be fit to stand in the line of battle.

One warm August morning, I found myself returning from my daily hunt along with my staff, and in the midst of a lively discussion on where one could best obtain the finest truffles, when suddenly we ventured upon a remarkable sight. Riding up the road ahead of us was a rather villainous-looking band of ragged ruffians, led by one of the most fierce, feral-looking individuals upon which I have ever cast my eyes.

Yet I was struck by a pride and spirit that was evident in their hardened countenances and which impressed me, a pride which had been so dearly lacking in our men since that dreadful day by the River Main.

Count Horthy Emil Sarkozy, in the uniform of his former regiment
(when in the employ of Her Highness the Empress)

This band of apparent brigands was led by none other than Count Horthy Emil Sarkozy, a noblemen descended from an ancient House with lands in the eastern reaches of The Empress of Austria's domains. A disciple of the great Baron Trenck, his reputation for cunning, cruelty, and the pursuit of riches was known by all, but there was no greater nor more energetic leader of troops for conducting le petite guerre west of the mountains of Bohemia. He and his men were legendary for being most provident and enterprising masters of their terrible trade.

It transpired that when in service with the Pragmatic Army in the campaigns in Bavaria, he and Baron Trenck had found themselves embroiled in a bitter altercation over the apportioning of some considerable booty, and nearly came to blows; indeed, Sarkozy in his fury fired a shot at the Baron. The bullet, whilst missing its intended target, went on to hit and to wound mortally the nearby young Margrave of Groelchenburg, a close cousin and a favourite of Her Majesty.

Naturally, this act endeared the Count neither with Marshal Konigsegg nor with the House of Habsburg generally. Within days, Sarkozy found himself being strongly urged, by those of his associates who had close connections with the court in Vienna, that it would be in his best interests to flee the service of the Empress Queen.

One moonless night soon afterwards he rode out with his men to the Rhine frontier, crossing over to the west bank somewhere just north of Mainz after having successfully avoided the piquets on either side.

He later revealed that he had heard much about my exploits at the Bridge of Seligenstadt- and that I was well-known for keeping a lavish table well-provisioned with fine wines from the family estates at St. Vignobles- and that he had ridden to Thionville in order that he may offer me his services, along with those of his men.

I was touched both by his sincerity and by his martial demeanour, and duly petitioned the War Ministry. His offer was graciously accepted, and I was thus entreated and commissioned to outfit the men for the King's service.

I had a new uniform made for them in the Hungarian fashion, using the same bolts of grey and mulberry cloth that I had purchased to clothe the Regt. de Buillon-Cantinat. I also issued them with a standard- the ancient and faded guidon of the Bouillon-Cantinat Regiment of Gentlemen Volunteers, who had seen service in 1688 with the Great Louis and Turenne in their Wars in the Palatine.

Touched in turn by the sincerity and magnanimity of my gesture, Count Sarkozy swore tearfully that he and his men would honour the standard and would defend it to the last man. He then declared that all the time that he, Count Horthy Emil Sarkozy, had breath to draw in his body, he would champion the cause of France and the furtherance of the House of Bouillon-Cantinat."


Uniform plate based again on (the indispensable) templates provided by David at "Not by Appointment". Thanks, David.

Introducing the Regiment de Bouillon-Cantinat

The cavalry of L’armée Française de l’Oise.

Brigade Colonel-General

• Regt. Colonel-General
• Regt. de la Reine
• Regt. Dauphin

Brigade Bouillon-Cantinat

• Regt. Bouillon-Cantinat
• Regt. Conti
• Regt. Clermont

Brigade Bauffremont (Dragoons)

• Regt. Beauffremont
• Regt. Harcourt
• Regt. d'Aubigne

Troupes légère

• les Hussards de Sarkozy (the Sarkozy Legion)
  

It is now high time to let the Marquis take over the narrative. From his memoirs;

"The creation of L’armée de l’Oise was decreed after the disaster of Dettingen, and was to be formed from the debris and remnants of the French armies of Messieurs les Ducs de Grammont and de Noailles.

After Dettingen these worthy gentlemen found themselves recalled to Vesailles to give account of their failure to punish the Allies with the alacrity and completeness with which they had assured His Majesty was to have been the expected outcome.

It was myself, M. Le Marquis de Sangfroid, who on the departure of M. Grammont was given command of this new army.

I was duly tasked by the Ministry of War with the protection of the French side of the Rhine from any incursion by the Army of the Pragmatic Sanction, and when necessary to support the actions of the esteemed M. le marechal de Saxe in his laudable campaigns in the Low Countries.

Those of the cavalry and infantry who managed to cross the Rhine in safety were reorganized in a new encampment that was set up at Thionville. The demoralized survivors of the cavalry were joined by the Regt. Dauphin, and by the dragoon regiments Harcourt and Aubigne.

In time- and with care to drill, bellies, and purses- morale steadily improved.

The infantry regiments were brought back up to strength by drafts with which to replace their grievous losses, and were joined by the valiant men of the Regt. Royal Baviere.

Furthermore, and in recognition of my services to His Serene Majesty at Seligenstadt in which the valorous and noble conduct of the men of the Regt. de St. Vignobles was commented upon by all, I was commissioned to raise a new cavalry regiment from my estates in Artois and St. Vignobles, the Regt. de Bouillon-Cantinat.

Over the next few years, the army was trained by myself to a high standard of efficiency, as was noted with gracious pleasure by the esteemed Marechal de Saxe himself. In my trustworthy hands, L’armée de l’Oise was to bring considerable honour to France, to our beloved monarch, and to the prestige of the noble house of Bouillon-Cantinat."

*************

Renowned for it's imposing bearskins (a gift from Mme. la Duchesse de Richmonte in exchange for some -let us say, discrete- services on my part) as well as for its wine-red facings, the intrepid Regiment de Bouillon-Cantinat was to earn itself a reputation second to none for fearlessness in combat.

And, it must be admitted, a reputation to no small degree for licentiousness as well. This being as a result of frequent and oft-publicized forays to the local taverns and other houses of ill repute. In these nefarious activities, they were more often than not discovered to have been aided by their rather brigand-like comrades-in-arms, the Hussars of Sarkozy.

As a consequence of such mischief, on many an occasion I was forced to make use of my influence & considerable charm- and, in some cases, of timely reminders upon debts payable from old games of chance- so as to prevent retribution being levied upon the men of the regiment by the heavy hands of local council authorities.

The Fanfare March of the Regt. de Bouillon-Cantinat

********

Click on the image to enlarge. Thanks, as always, to David of "Not by Appointment " for providing the uniform and flag templates.

The Sangfroid Saga

Without much ado, let us return to another instalment of the memoirs of His Grace, Louis-Baptiste Sardanapalus Bouillon-Cantinat, 10th Marquis de Sangfroid, Comte de Roué. Chevalier of the Order of the Golden Stirrup, and Hereditary Prince Ecclesiastical of the Bishopric of St. Vignobles.

"As the years march inexorably forward, and the frailty of the body weighs upon mere mortals as does a stout anchor restrain a great ship of the line in the strongest gale, what greater pleasure can advancing years hold than enjoying a bottle of fine claret, a game of chance with with elegant and witty company, and the sun shining warmly down upon our cherished coterie as we take our ease in the chateau gardens, accompanied by the gentle sounds of the mighty Rhine as it flows by the splendid lands of St. Vignobles?

Such was the contentment that I felt this warm and languid afternoon, that I am again tempted to take up the quill and, should it be the will of the Almighty, continue my account of those tumultuous yet glorious days. Days that saw our beloved monarch in his youth, ably assisted at the helm of state and war by such celebrated luminaries as the M. de Saxe. And, if I may say it, by a host of loyal subjects such as myself, eager and willing to give all for the Duty and Honour of France.

Amongst my cherished guests this day was that most worthy gentleman, M'Lord Henry Fetlock-Nosebridle, Lord Withers. Always fond of a generous meal and fine wine- and a daunting opponent at vingt-et-un- he is currently given to some degree of stoutness and is afflicted with gout. Yet in his youth he had the physick of an Apollo, and was one of the most celebrated horsemen in Europe.

While fate ordained that we were to serve our respective masters on opposite sides of the bloody meadows of war, he always behaved with great courage and with the honour and dignity due to a man of high station. We have always remained firm friends, despite having crossed swords on a number of occassions in the battles that ebbed and flowed over the unfortunate Flanders plain.

Having paid me the felicitations due to my astute choice of wine with which to accompany our dish of braised pheasant and aubergines, he happened to remark on the fine quality of the porcelain from which we were dining, and enquired as to its provenance.

"Ah," said I; "For that we have to thank my old rival and implacable foe; a man who coveted the fertile lands of St. Vignobles relentlessly, a ruthless and determined fellow who gave me reason for much apprehension concerning the future and security of my house. Of course, I refer to none other than Hertog Karel-Willem van Tippelkranken, the Stadtholder of Nassau-Knijperbrug."

My old companion and I settled into our armchairs, and I called for brandies and clay pipes as I began to relate my tale..."

À votre plaisir...

It is I, Louis-Baptiste Sardanapalus Bouillon-Cantinat, 10th Marquis de Sangfroid, Comte de Roué. Chevalier of the Order of the Golden Stirrup, and Hereditary Prince Ecclesiastical of the Bishopric of St. Vignobles (having been ordained priest of the Church of Our Lady of Vignobles soon after taking Holy Orders at the tender age of twelve).

My lineage is that of an honorable house, one that has served and upheld the rights of France, and of the Holy Catholic Church, ever since the time of Charlemagne.

In addition to my services to the Almighty through the saving of souls, I felt it only appropriate that I would also choose to devote much of my life to bringing forward the time that men would meet face-to-face with the Almighty. Hence, at an early age I decided to take up the noble profession of arms as had generations of my family before me.

As a soldier, I have been privileged to have enjoyed the inestimable honour of serving His Excellency M. Le Marechal Maurice, Comte de Saxe, throughout his many campaigns in the Low Countries in the name of His Serene Highness Louis XV, King of France- called le bien aime.

The victories of the Good Marechal were built, not merely by his own genius, but upon that of his officers of Quality who accompanied him on the field of Honour. These being gentlemen who have proved themselves to be amongst the greatest soldiers of France since the apogee of the Sun King.

It is with appropriate humility and thanks to the Lord our God that I may count myself amongst the top tiers of that fellowship.

Allow me, then, the pleasure of entertaining you with the martial stories of my youth; before age, the frailty of memory, and mortality (as is His will) accomplishes that which the musketry, balls and broadswords of the King's enemies were never able to achieve whilst I stood fearlessly amongst the shot and shell upon the bloody fields of Mars.

And indeed, I may touch on my adventures with Venus when relevant to the tales I am about to relate. For a good soldier wishing to reach old age must soon learn to avoid wounding at her gentler, but no less fatal, hands.